Starting in 2021, I became deeply fascinated with Stanislav Grof's COEX, which stands for Systems of Condensed Experience. These systems consist of clusters of memories with similar themes or elements and a strong emotional charge that significantly influence our perceptions of ourselves, the world, and our relationships. As I delved into this concept, I began envisioning the interconnections and dependencies between these nodes, which naturally emerged through my artistic process and meditation.
At the time, while learning 3D modeling influenced by the popular web3 aesthetic, I felt pressured to adapt, despite finding it cheesy, and aimed to adjust the style to my liking. This adoption, symbolic of my queer proclivity for harmonizing with collective spaces rather than asserting individual aesthetic principles, echoes the mental schema of a generation of creative workers who, enticed by the at-the-time lucrative NFT market, envisioned emancipation from oppressive work environments. This yearning for liberation from workplace despotism and burnout provided the very impetus for this series.
My growing body of work reflects this emotional landscape, with each piece representing a unique node in the system. While learning new 3D modeling techniques to create human-like forms, I noticed my tendency to view my models through Dionysian lenses and fetishize them, a fantasy overlay to each COEX node. Initially censoring myself, I ultimately embraced the output as a 'theatrical 3D kitsch' while valuing the technical skills I developed throughout the work.